The daffodils and crocuses are peeping above the cold soil and there are buds on the fruit trees waiting for some action but for our family the growing season started a few months ago, in a completely different way. It is now gathering momentum and we are reminded about the important things in life, the most important being, the importance of life itself.
Number One Son and Daughter in Law are expecting their first baby in the summer and it is the first baby to arrive in our family for more than a decade. However, it is a staggering 27 years since Doc and I welcomed our youngest into the world so we are feeling equal amounts of euphoric excitement and rabbit-in-headlights terror. Friends reassure us that we will be ‘handing the bundle back to his/her parents’ and that it will fun all the way - but I am not so sure. The emotional DNA has already coiled itself around our hearts. This is not just any old baby and someone to entertain now and again, this is going to be OUR baby – by proxy. Physiologically speaking, the bond may be diluted but nevertheless the biological bond is fixed in eternity. Just as his/her parents will love, protect and provide, we too are bound by our DNA to do the same. This new baby is one of us.
Therefore, this new phase in our lives is going to be both wonderful and tricky. Being a grandparent is a new territory that we will have to learn to negotiate. One thing it is not, is being a parent. For instance, given our background in parenting, it may be assumed we will know what to do when the baby cries. However, my brain has shrunken over the years, probably as a result of raising a family, and I can’t remember very much about day to day child rearing. (The 1980s and 90s are a blur!) Thinking it through though, this may be a good thing because apparently, a grandparent must keep their mouth closed and not give well meaning, but ultimately undermining advice, unless it is asked for.
We may read a book or two about how to be good grandparents but as long as Doc and I are good enough and develop a positive relationship with baby, that will be just fine. The new parents have lots of energy and love to give and will muddle along. And so will we. We must remember we are gardeners and use our instinct for nurturing to see us through.
As for our new status in the family ie one of the elders, that is even trickier. I have banned Doc from eating Werther's Originals and wearing plaid slippers – forever - and I suddenly feel an attraction towards certain face creams with magical powers. I have some time though to brace myself for questions such as ‘what is it like to be old?’
What do we hope for our new grandchild? We wish the same as anyone does, for any child, anywhere. That he or she is loved and cared for, is healthy and has opportunity to reach their potential and contribute to the world. Above all, we hope there are lots of smiles and only tears of joy. But whatever comes, Doc and I will be here, up to our elbows in poo when appropriate and quietly supporting in the background, the rest of the time.
I do hope the new baby does not inherit Great Auntie Edna’s big nose or my Great Grandfather’s addiction to alcohol and gambling. It would be nice if the gardening gene could make an appearance but I am prepared to be disappointed. He or she could be a petrol head or mad on sport (both of which I know nothing about) but one thing is for sure, the rest of our lives is going to be interesting!
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